No cheating please!

             I was in a mall in Makati when I decided to phone my friend who lives in Guadalupe. She became my best friend when I was still teaching in my previous school and she also became my kumare. We agreed to meet after lunch. After one and a half hour, I heard a familiar voice from afar. "Kumare!" she yelled and we hugged each other.  We discussed a lot of things from our pig out sessions, past favorites and even our misadventures in the past. My friend is still single. At the age of 34 she is still very pretty. She told me that she doesn't have any intentions of getting married in the future. My friend is a man-hater. I cannot blame her because I knew where she's coming from. She fell in love with a married man and they had a son. The man did not tell her that he's already married and when the man learned that she's pregnant, he confessed and left her. She did not pursue the guy anymore after learning from a friend that the guy has an affair with another woman. She didn't know the whereabouts of that man ever since. Jerk! Her agony seemed to be endless since then. What a sad story. But we all know that infidelity stories are not uncommon nowadays. Unfortunately, our society tends to shrug it off if the cheaters are men.
              Anyway, why do men cheat ? If a guy cheats does it mean that he doesn't love his partner?  I know that these questions  have been baffling so many women (including me) for centuries. You may have heard these hateful statements from men like: " Lalake lang ako", "Normal sa lalaki ang tumingin sa iba", etc.
         I'm a science person so normally I would like to find out if there is a  scientific explanation why men, in general tend to cheat in a relationship. I tried to search for the possible answers to this query and I came across this term called Coolidge effect.  Are you familiar with this term? Pardon me if I sound like  I live in Scienceville.  I'm just trying to explain a point.

According to the Free dictionary.com, Coolidge effect

is the stimulation of sexual behavior in a male animal upon exposure to a new female.

 Coolidge Effect is an observable fact that combines and correlates two branches of science; psychology and biology. It tells us that our mental state has a direct impact on our physical state. For example, when a  person gets angry, physical changes happen such as flushing up of his cheeks, reddening of his ears, widening of his eyes and  breathing rapidly. Similarly, when a man finds himself turned on by a member of the opposite sex, there are obvious physical changes. I won't discuss the details anymore here.

This observation does not pertain to humans only. It is a common phenomenon with all male species.
When you drop a male rat into a cage with a receptive female rat, you see an initial frenzy of copulation. Then, progressively, the male tires of that particular female. Even without an apparent change in her receptivity he reaches a point where he has little libido-and simply ignores her. However, if you replace the original female with a fresh one, the male immediately revives and begins copulating again. You can repeat this process with fresh females until the rat nearly dies of exhaustion. The Coolidge Effect has been observed in all mammals that have been tested. Scientists have observed it in females too. Female rodents, for example, flirt a lot more - arching in inviting displays - with unfamiliar partners than with those with which they've already copulated.
(http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect)

Glen Wilson described its usual trajectory in The Science of Sex:

Before marriage it is usual for men to initiate intercourse at a fairly high frequency with their fiancée. After a few years of marriage, however, the husband's sexual appetite begins to wane and an apparent reversal of libido may even occur, with the now frustrated wife demanding more lovemaking than her 'tired' husband is able to supply. He, of course, is still perfectly capable of being aroused by his mistresses and office girls and, if fortunate enough to secure an invitation to an orgy, would have little difficulty completing intercourse with two or three anonymous young women in the course the evening's festivities. Sex therapists see many men who are reported as 'impotent' by their wives, but who privately confess to considerable prowess with a succession of mistresses.

We learned from our biology class that a region in the midbrain (substantia nigra/ventral tegmental), which is responsible for regulating our motivation and reward-processing, responds better to novelty than to the familiar. This system also regulates levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain. (Think of dopamine as the neurochemical of all motivation.) Let's just say, you won't crave for chocolate if you eat it everyday. Understandably, you'll crave for something new.

 So does it mean that women should forever understand men everytime we catch them in the act of cheating? Of course not!
       Evolution prizes quantity of offspring above quality of life. It doesn't care about long term relationships. As a result, our ancient ancestors who impulsively had sex, lost interest, and wandered after their next partner were the most likely to pass on their genes…and their lovemaking habits.
      However, as humans we are capable of  controlling our emotions for the sake of our love for our relationship partners. It is very difficult to avoid cheating specially if there are too much opportunities to do the act. Maybe the best thing that men could do is to think of the possible consequences of their actions. According to research, 70 percent of married men hesitate in doing the act. There are some people who seemed to trigger our lust button. We should stay away from them as much as possible. For women out there, we should not entertain commited guys especially if they are married. Remember, it takes two to tango. A harmonious relationship gives no rom for adultery. In general, married men who are involved in extramarital affairs are those who are not happy with their married life. Guys, it seems fun to have some adventures while in a relationship but  a trusting relationship is also rewarding.

We should not let BIOLOGY destroy you and your partner's CHEMISTRY. (cheese!)